Kolej Jaiputra.
I never thought you will be my favourite destination.
Learning how to be better than before. Learning to be my new me.
I fell in love with myself here eventhough I miss those days when I had chance to reach my goal.
Being here is not about I'm having a happy life each day but having a less extra ordinary life and shine through it.
Be thankful for every memories I got here either good or bad.
Everyday I wish I am someone new, something hopeful, like spring to my deep winter.
Maybe I am.
I always pray that my heart could be more lovely. More loving. More love. More lovable.
Because, I don't want any hatred growing inside my heart
I want to forgive the worst from others, to see the best from others and have a soul that'll never give up.
I almost give up nowadays. But I could not let myself being in that way because Allah gives me too much happiness in my life and how I wish I could share with all of you.
Allah always take a good care of me.
He always there when I need Him.
Allah.
But still I'm drowning and always failed to be a good servant of Him.
I always getting angry with myself because I let my past haunting my mind.
It's like once you've been hurt, you're so scared to get attached again. Like you have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart.
Then, I start drawing my circle. Not simply letting someone getting to close with me. Being so picky and choosy and less trusting new person eventhough they're heavenly view and trying so hard to fit in in my past.
But when I apply those things. New people who like me or get intrested with me will end up hating me because I care less about them.
I become more quiet than yesterday. I'll talk when I really need to put words on. The consequences being like this is you got less friends but... The Best. Because, some will stay and being able to recognize the real you and your sorrows and could bring out the best from you.
I believe that nobody is perfect and nobody deserves to be perfect. Nobody has it easy, everybody has issues . You never know what people are going through. So pause before you start judging,criticizing, or mocking others. Everybody is fighting their own unique war.
But, I have to be able to differentiate what's wrong and what's right to do the most important thing as muslims and that is ' amar makruf nahi mungkar '
And apply those responsible in a good way and in a very polite styles. Letting Rasulullah's manners be good examples of mine.
In friendship, family relationship and any relationship I believe there will be always imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.
Trying mending the bond and build a great interdependence with people who choose to love us and people who we choose to take care of.
But If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistaked you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go. And I believe life is about letting go and survived with any abundance. Even it's hard. Even it's hurt. I have to.
We are nation of sinners, not nation of angles, so be kind to the peolpe because everyone is struggling with something. Try to lift anyone up so that they'll succeed and you'll realize that you'll need them someday somehow. And yes I know, we need at least one friend who understand what we do not say but don't forget only Allah The Most Understanding.
He is the creator and we are the creation of Allah and of course He Knows Better. Allah Knows Better. So, don't be sad . Yasmin Mogahed says ' you can either go through your life terrified of hardships into thriumps , by staying close to Him'
And I have to be more nice. More polite.
And remind myself that it is time to heal, Allah knows best. It's painful, but it is sealed.
I never thought you will be my favourite destination.
Learning how to be better than before. Learning to be my new me.
I fell in love with myself here eventhough I miss those days when I had chance to reach my goal.
Being here is not about I'm having a happy life each day but having a less extra ordinary life and shine through it.
Be thankful for every memories I got here either good or bad.
Everyday I wish I am someone new, something hopeful, like spring to my deep winter.
Maybe I am.
I always pray that my heart could be more lovely. More loving. More love. More lovable.
Because, I don't want any hatred growing inside my heart
I want to forgive the worst from others, to see the best from others and have a soul that'll never give up.
I almost give up nowadays. But I could not let myself being in that way because Allah gives me too much happiness in my life and how I wish I could share with all of you.
Allah always take a good care of me.
He always there when I need Him.
Allah.
But still I'm drowning and always failed to be a good servant of Him.
I always getting angry with myself because I let my past haunting my mind.
It's like once you've been hurt, you're so scared to get attached again. Like you have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart.
Then, I start drawing my circle. Not simply letting someone getting to close with me. Being so picky and choosy and less trusting new person eventhough they're heavenly view and trying so hard to fit in in my past.
But when I apply those things. New people who like me or get intrested with me will end up hating me because I care less about them.
I become more quiet than yesterday. I'll talk when I really need to put words on. The consequences being like this is you got less friends but... The Best. Because, some will stay and being able to recognize the real you and your sorrows and could bring out the best from you.
I believe that nobody is perfect and nobody deserves to be perfect. Nobody has it easy, everybody has issues . You never know what people are going through. So pause before you start judging,criticizing, or mocking others. Everybody is fighting their own unique war.
But, I have to be able to differentiate what's wrong and what's right to do the most important thing as muslims and that is ' amar makruf nahi mungkar '
And apply those responsible in a good way and in a very polite styles. Letting Rasulullah's manners be good examples of mine.
In friendship, family relationship and any relationship I believe there will be always imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.
Trying mending the bond and build a great interdependence with people who choose to love us and people who we choose to take care of.
But If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistaked you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go. And I believe life is about letting go and survived with any abundance. Even it's hard. Even it's hurt. I have to.
We are nation of sinners, not nation of angles, so be kind to the peolpe because everyone is struggling with something. Try to lift anyone up so that they'll succeed and you'll realize that you'll need them someday somehow. And yes I know, we need at least one friend who understand what we do not say but don't forget only Allah The Most Understanding.
He is the creator and we are the creation of Allah and of course He Knows Better. Allah Knows Better. So, don't be sad . Yasmin Mogahed says ' you can either go through your life terrified of hardships into thriumps , by staying close to Him'
And I have to be more nice. More polite.
And remind myself that it is time to heal, Allah knows best. It's painful, but it is sealed.