Not yet a good one

aq ngan adek pon berjalan-jalan
Sampai kat sebuah destinasi maka terus membeli buku
'Road To Ipb'
Well, aq takut je kene tangkap sebab pergi sana buat pertama kali kerana
Ingin memiliki buku ini.
Tp, Sebenarnya takde orang nak marah pon sebab Allah ngn adik je y tahu.
Adakah perasaan ingin tahu ni kerana Allah atau ciptaannya?
Insyaallah kerana Allah. Kan.

So,  buku ni actually menyebabkan
Air mata itu mengalir sedikit.
I don't know how to explain but it feels like Allah....
Is closer than yesterday or just now.

Allah Maha Kuasa. MAKHLUK tiada kuasa.
Cari jodoh dalam diri sendiri.
Semoga jumpa y sekufu.
Y iman dan taqwanya seakan-akan searas.

Today, Uyeen decide to bring me and her rest of bff utk Iftar.
Which I actually, don't have mood to go and i am sad.
I don't want Uyeen to see me sad.
So, I will always listing every bless that Allah gave.
If He tear me and someone apart for our best so why I should be in despair.

I Love Allah.
He is always with me.
But me. Always take it for granted.
Always waste time over useless things.

I'm sorry mama and adik-adik and ayah because not helping much during these days.
Insyaallah, tomorrow my Kakak Mode turn on and will crazily in Raya Mood and do the kemas kemas thing.

And yes.
I love wearing Niqab.
It makes me feels safe.
I can hide all the mixed emotions behind those cute soft black niqab.
I can hide my chubby pipi.

Aku teringat lagi masa permulaan semester 4. Yang aku tiba tiba nekad nak pakai because i have a sour face y susah nak senyum lagi-lagi hadapan
People y fitnah dan aibkan aku semester lepas.
So, 24/5..
Dengan nama Allah. Aku pon pakai without berfikir rasionalnya wears and memorize what mazhab shafie says.
Well, Alhamdulillah..

People hardly see me sad.
Kann bagus.
Aku kan selalu dipressed because my mind couldn't stop thinking.
But, it feels like.
Allah tengok aku.
Stop being in riak.
Stop stop stop.
Istighfar more.
Well..

I guess that's all for me right now.
Still thinking about wearing in KL or just
Wears it at Kelantan.

Hijab sebenar terletak pada..
'Malu'

Tidak memandang atau dipandang.

Well..
Look at me. I'm not yet a good one.