I'm sorry. I could't expose how it happen specifically. It is happen when I was on my way to go to work.
It was terrible. . and I didn't go to work after that day and moreover my convocation day is 4 days after that day. .
It was in Thursday. . 14th September 2017, the day adik2 tahfiz Keramat lost their lives. . Innalillah Wainnailahi Rojiun,, and that petang..
I ride it in high speed because I do not want to be late. . I should have go right road but I were in the left way and a little bit late to go to right.. and I decide to break. ..try to go to the other road. .but I lose control. . and..
BAMMPPP!!! I fell down.. the road is wet and it's raining.. .
Buat seketika, I feels like 'eh, dah nak pergi ke?'
and tak tahu how I can get up strongly and tell the people who stop their car to look for me that I'm okay.
and ride my bike strongly again to Kl Sentral.. and cried. .
why did I cried? Maybe I'm in shocked. . and blame myself for everything.. and that time.. seeking for Allah's forgiveness.. telling the truth to one of my friend that I do not want to fake our friendship and tell her that I need to be honest and do not want to be with her anymore.. I called my bestfriends who live in Kelantan and also Kemensah. . and pour my tears silently with them. . .
My parents didnt know what happens exactly as I do not want them to worry about me. .
and that Sunday . . I have to pick up my Convo's Jubah.. which I still scared to be on the road. .
and asked my several friends to help me . . but nobody can help as they have other plan. .
Finally, I decided to drive slowly and my mother wanted to go with me . . she seems happy. . and Mikhael was following us to. .
I was in pain but Alhamdulillah. . I manage to go there safely..
but until today, kepala lutut still bengkak, and kedua-dua siku luka masih belum baik sepenuhnya..
and I couldnt join any training and kene tarik diri for several tournament and outdoor activities..
However,
the day that I asked my several friends to help me, actually I do not like to be like a burden to anyone else.. and it makes me so afraid to ask for anyone's help. .
and it's okay if they couldn't. .
it is just.. one thing that make me understand something. . it is about one of them.. the one that I wish that we were siblings at first and then proposed him to be more and became a business partner and now trying hard to be a strangers. .
I,
started to realize that, we never wanted to lose each other. .
do you know why?
Because even it is really excruciating to think about his decisions.. I still think that everything is my fault. .
and I said 'I'm sorry' to him even though it is so so extremely heartbreaking. .
He's engaged and getting married. .
but he stills forgive me and even replying to my those silly messages. .
and I understands that.. we're not meant to be. .
even though I'm very confused with what had happened. . He is just not so into me but I am still a person who exists in his life. .
and he is still someone in my past. .
and I decided to let everything.. go
even I just saw him last two weeks 'there' my mystical magical wonderland in Ganu :')
but. . I'm not ready yet to face you Allah. .
And the accident. .
I was not ready to go. .
I have to settle my hutang first..
and then.. I hope, YOU can take me. . I believe in YOU.. You are The Most Merciful. .
The ONE who understands and knew everything. .
and slowly, I'm coming back. . to YOU. .
From Allah we came, to Allah we shall return. .
It was terrible. . and I didn't go to work after that day and moreover my convocation day is 4 days after that day. .
It was in Thursday. . 14th September 2017, the day adik2 tahfiz Keramat lost their lives. . Innalillah Wainnailahi Rojiun,, and that petang..
I ride it in high speed because I do not want to be late. . I should have go right road but I were in the left way and a little bit late to go to right.. and I decide to break. ..try to go to the other road. .but I lose control. . and..
BAMMPPP!!! I fell down.. the road is wet and it's raining.. .
Buat seketika, I feels like 'eh, dah nak pergi ke?'
and tak tahu how I can get up strongly and tell the people who stop their car to look for me that I'm okay.
and ride my bike strongly again to Kl Sentral.. and cried. .
why did I cried? Maybe I'm in shocked. . and blame myself for everything.. and that time.. seeking for Allah's forgiveness.. telling the truth to one of my friend that I do not want to fake our friendship and tell her that I need to be honest and do not want to be with her anymore.. I called my bestfriends who live in Kelantan and also Kemensah. . and pour my tears silently with them. . .
My parents didnt know what happens exactly as I do not want them to worry about me. .
and that Sunday . . I have to pick up my Convo's Jubah.. which I still scared to be on the road. .
and asked my several friends to help me . . but nobody can help as they have other plan. .
Finally, I decided to drive slowly and my mother wanted to go with me . . she seems happy. . and Mikhael was following us to. .
I was in pain but Alhamdulillah. . I manage to go there safely..
but until today, kepala lutut still bengkak, and kedua-dua siku luka masih belum baik sepenuhnya..
and I couldnt join any training and kene tarik diri for several tournament and outdoor activities..
However,
the day that I asked my several friends to help me, actually I do not like to be like a burden to anyone else.. and it makes me so afraid to ask for anyone's help. .
and it's okay if they couldn't. .
it is just.. one thing that make me understand something. . it is about one of them.. the one that I wish that we were siblings at first and then proposed him to be more and became a business partner and now trying hard to be a strangers. .
I,
started to realize that, we never wanted to lose each other. .
do you know why?
Because even it is really excruciating to think about his decisions.. I still think that everything is my fault. .
and I said 'I'm sorry' to him even though it is so so extremely heartbreaking. .
He's engaged and getting married. .
but he stills forgive me and even replying to my those silly messages. .
and I understands that.. we're not meant to be. .
even though I'm very confused with what had happened. . He is just not so into me but I am still a person who exists in his life. .
and he is still someone in my past. .
and I decided to let everything.. go
even I just saw him last two weeks 'there' my mystical magical wonderland in Ganu :')
but. . I'm not ready yet to face you Allah. .
And the accident. .
I was not ready to go. .
I have to settle my hutang first..
and then.. I hope, YOU can take me. . I believe in YOU.. You are The Most Merciful. .
The ONE who understands and knew everything. .
and slowly, I'm coming back. . to YOU. .
From Allah we came, to Allah we shall return. .