Assalammualaikum and selamat sejahtera semuanya :)
I was in the dark of the past . The sweet memories and promises keep rewind in my mind until I let it go .
until I saw this http://www.usahataqwa.com/rohaniah/cara-cara-memimpin-hati .
ianya sangat menenangkan keran aku berasa ya, hati aku ini gelap dan sehitam hati . perlulah memafkan segala dendam dan berusaha berperang ke arah yang lebih baik . kan .
dah nak masuk tiga bulan aku cuba hidup tanpa bayang-bayang kenangan akhirnya membuahkan hasil apabila kita memafkan . apabila kita yakin yang sebenarnya inilah kehendak Allah pada ketika ini . walau sesukar manapun untuk kita terima tetapi segalanya tercatat di luh mahfuz.
'kring kring '
aku mencapai telefon bimbitku dan ternyata panggilan dari kolej jaiputra ,
'maaf ye, ini munirah ye , sy nak maklumkan bahawa berdasarkan keputusan awk ni awak ditawarkan biasiswa mara untuk menyambung pengajian diploma pengajian islam di sini '
and i was like , haa , Alhamdulillah . but how about indonesia ? how about to being a doctor ?
why i am so unpredictable and so happy because of that CALL ! Alhamdulillah Ya Allah .
and I persuade my mom . of coz, as mum they wanted the best for their children especially for someone like me a person who always facing a failure to manage matters .
past is past but i let go my heart to be shouting loudly ' munirah ! ambik tawaran tu !'
because you know what guys , i bought a lot of book , of matriks , I already register to taking spm again as 5B pure science subjects as it is really needed to be a doctor.
if i let go of my foundation and degree in medicine i'll embarrassing my parents because of my commitment towards something is not consistent .
if i let go of being doctor , some of them will always wondering why is she like this and like that ?
at some point we are too confident with something that crossed the mind , until we regret and redha .
sebenarnya siapa tak nak belajar pandai-pandai jadi doktor , inspire other , beli kereta and rumah ,
well apa yang aku cari sebenarnya ni ? kebahagiaan dunia ? cukupkan kalau ada Allah dalam hati .
tp aku manusia yang tak pernah puas hati kah ? atau sebenarnya , apabila aku jatuh aku lebih suka punya lebih masa kembali pada kenal-kenal agama .
aku suka bila jiwa aku itu tenang dari amarah , dan sentiasa okay dengan pelajaran pendidikan agama. maklumlah aku tak sekolah agama .
who am i actually ? have I istikharah yet ? do i have to think what people would think and talk ?
why I wanted to go there ? is it the right path to go ?
do i have enough salary if i work as teacher only to make my parents happy ?
do i have enough takes to be a person who makes everyone happy ?
i don't know , if i learn would i practice it in the right way ?
or maybe i should forget about this and go on with my ambition ? what i should do to myself is...
cermin .
but , studying in indonesia will cost more money . Allah .
it's okay ! when my parents get back , I'll discuss , but I'm totally happy with the tawaran arghh !
aku nak jadi seorang mak yang boleh bercerita tentang hal-hal agama pada anak-anakku .
and my bad thought about myself is ' eleh kau , berangan je tahu , macam-macam kau nak jadi '
haha . but I'm happy with this gift !
and suddenly i get a call form emira zaikhana , hahaha and it was so lovely because she kecek kelate . and i told her what just happened to me and she said' nanti umur 30 pong duk tukar tmpat nngaji'
see ya !